WTF!

THE DAY AFTER I DECIDED TO PULL AWAY AND THE ANGER IS GONE THANKS BE TO GOD, BUT I'M STILL IN A MELANCHOLY MOOD. IT HASN'T BEEN 24 HOURS BUT I MISS TALKING TO HIM. TALKING WITH HIM MADE MY LIFE WORTH LIVING OR SO IT SEEMED. TODAY EVEN THOUGH I WON'T TALK TO HIM MY LIFE STILL HAS MEANING, BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANING IS. I THINK THIS WOULD BE EASIER IF I HATED HIM, BUT HATING HIM I CAN'T. HE TOUCH MY LIFE IN SUCH A SPECIAL WAY BOTH GOOD AND BAD. I LEARNED THROUGH HIM I CAN BE HURT AND MAD AND NOT RIP THE PERSON WHO HURT ME APART WITH WORDS THAT DESTROY,. EVEN THOUGH, HE SAID HE DIDN'T LOVE IN THAT SPECIAL WAY  I NOW  KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE LOVED AND I MISS IT A LOT. I CAN ONLY HOPE ONE DAY TO FIND SOMEONE TO SHOW ME HALF AS MUCH LOVE. 

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW THE NEXT TIME I'LL TALK TO HIM IF EVER I WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM AND HE WILL ALWAYS HOLD A VERY SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART. I ALSO HOPE THAT IF HE EVER NEEDS ME HE KNOWS I'M JUST A TEXT AWAY EVEN IF IT IS JUST FOR EAR TO CRY INTO.

I THANK GOD FOR BRINGING ME HIM INTO MY LIFE, BUT I AM MAD THAT HE ALLOWED HIM TO PULL AWAY. I UNDERSTAND THIS IS A GROWING EXPERIENCE FOR ME AND IF I LET IT I'LL COME THROUGH STRONGER ON THE OTHER SIDE. I JUST HOPE THE DEPRESSION FADES AS FAST AS IT HAS BEEN AND THIS MELANCHOLY FEEING GOES AWAY SOON SO I CAN GROW AND LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE.

*** ***** * **** ***

(now.i'm.relief.done.bursting.my.feelings)

(smily.face)!"./.

ashary17@yahoo.com

SAD REALIZATION. ;(

IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE? WILLING TO BE MY FRIEND. I WANT A BOYFRIEND, BUT I CAN'T FIND. SO SAD, I DON'T MAKE MUCH OF MEMORY WITH OTHER PEOPLE. I HAVE A LOVER, BUT SOMEHOW, I FEEL IT'S NOT ENOUGH. A LOVE FOR A FRIEND IS DIFFERENT FROM A LOVE FOR A BEST FRIEND. THAT'S SOMETHING I DON'T HAVE. IT'S KINDA WEIRD, BUT WHEN YOU ASK THEM, ITS VICE VERSA. THEY HAVE A GIRL/BOYFRIEND, WHICH I DON'T HAVE, BUT I NEED A BEST-FRIEND WHICH THEY HAVE. IT'S SO WEIRD, MAYBE I AM BOUND TO FIND SOMETHING I DON'T HAVE. ;(

IS THIS ANOTHER CYCLE OF LIFE?


OKAY. :))


THERE IS NO WEIRDNESS IN THESE THING, I SHOULD STOP ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT. I'M A GOOD PERSON, I HAVE SOME FRIENDS, MAYBE I SHOULD PUSH MORE WITHOUT SOMEONE NOTICING. (-.^)!


PUSH MORE TO DO GOOD MEMORIES. :P

I SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID. WELL ,THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, MY FRIENDSHIP IS PURE RIGHT?
I'LL BACK TO MY OLD SELF, WITH SO MUCH SELF ESTEEM RIGHT. ^.^
(smiley.face)!"./.